Where is my mind?

Tonight, I want it to be focused on God. But as so often happens, it's on myself. My failure, my sin, my lack of faith. You know, because you do it, too. If you're not completely focused on yourself, you're focused on yourself focusing on God, and that's self-aimed, too, isn't it? What's real love if I find myself using people? What's "unconditional" mean if I find myself placing expectations and conditions on God Himself?

My mind dives deep into these murky waters, and I've got to be honest - darkness is there with the light, and faith is nestled in with fear. The complement each other and hold each other back. I'm on a pace that's looking at the difference between BEING and BECOMING, and that's wondering why we would want to separate the two. Why can't I revel in who I AM, as well as look forward to who I AM TO BE? There's something in there for me, and I know there's something there for others, too.

It's late, 11:14est, the news is on - and my mind is sleepy. Adding a counter - I hope. G'night.
- posted by Rick @ 23:15