Tuesday, February 18, 2003
I used to post a journal to diaryland, but it's gone. Thought I might re-post some of my stuff here, though...
"I can do all things through Christ as He gives me strength. With God, nothing is impossible. Apart from Me, you can do nothing." - Phil 4:13, Luke 1:37, John 15:5
I dipped into a valley of despair yesterday, overwhelmed by the busyness. Too much going on, and nothing of any value getting done. At work, at home, at church, with God. "Am I doing anything that's worth it, Lord? Am I doing a job worth doing? Am I leading in a way that's bearing fruit? Am I helping and serving in a meaningful way anywhere?"
God answered. It's impossible for Him to do nothing, but apart from Him, nothing is something I can accomplish on my own. I've been here before, falling out of the "abiding relationship" to grab onto the "performance-based relationship", or maybe even the "passive I'm-just-blessed relationship". But I haven't been abiding in Him, looking to Him for my sustenance on the vine, seeking to bear the fruit of his life on my branch, hungry for Christ alone.
I fell asleep last night thinking of a quietness, a peacefulness, a deep rest in my spirit - even as the Holy Spirit was waking up my mind to the possibilities of a life truly lived for Him, by Him and through Him. I slept well last night - thanks for asking.
originally published @ diaryland, 03/06/2002