Monday, September 08, 2003
Sometimes, I'm overwhelmed by the amount of stuff that needs to get done. Other times, I'm overwhelmed by the sheer boredom of it all. And most of the times, those two things intersect - so much to do, overwhelmed to the point of boredom because I don't know where to start, and don't really want to do any of it.
Why should I ever complain about being bored? Growing up, that was my brother's mantra: "I'm bored. What can I do?" That worked until Dad started giving him chores. Never tell the guy in charge that you're bored; he'll find you something to do, but you won't like it, but you'll have to do it, 'cause you're bored. Anyway, I could always find a book to read or comic or magazine; later on I could find a movie, watch SportsCenter all morning, etc. Right now, I don't really have time to get bored - like I said, too much to do. So what is this I'm feeling that's an awful lot like boredom, just more heavy and burden-like?
There is a "spirit of heaviness" that's mentioned in the bible, Isaiah 61:3. In the NIV, it's "despair", and God is promising to cover His people who are grieving with a garment of praise for their despair. I don't think it's despair, but that's the only word I can grab onto as I look at this and blog about it. At dictionary.com, despair has as a second definition: "To be overcome by a sense of futility or defeat". Hmmmmmm.... praise turns that around, doesn't it? I mean, if I'm feeling overwhelmed and rundown, maybe I do feel a sense of futility and defeat. Doesn't matter if it's real or not, if I'm right or not - but if that's the burden I'm feeling... We shouldn't be controlled by feelings, but at the same time, my perspective is valid enough from my point of view to attempt to see what God's doing around me, to allow me to partner with Him, and this feeling of despair is probably only a reminder that my eyes are more focused on me and what I've got to do (or think I've got to do), rather than on Christ and Him formed in me. Rather than on God and His purposes in the world. Rather than the Spirit and His outflow from my life... right?
So I praise God. When I get into the funk, I'd rather have a praise CD in than anything else in my carrier. I'd rather turn things off and listen. I'd rather talk/pray/argue/question/struggle with God... and still praise Him. I don't even know where this came from - I just felt like I needed to post something and didn't know where to begin. But I know where to end - with praise. God is so good, and from His perspective it's so much more amazing and triumphant. My light and momentary stuff - as crowded as life might seem - is nothing compared to His plans, His ways, His purposes in and through my life. Praise You, Lord... and thank You. Amen.