Tuesday, November 18, 2003
I feel alot like the weather outside: overcast but pleasant for now, expecting showers any moment, grey and uninviting, good day for a hammock and a nap or a round of golf - anything done alone, in solitude. That's today, and that's me right now.
I mentioned that Pastor spoke on PASSION this past Sunday morning. Today, I read an article that quoted Revelation 3:14-22, the main text for his message, too.
I'm at work, so it's busy hectic, while I really want to be alone and have time to think. So I take a minute here and there to be quiet and focus on something other than my laptop and its tools, files and deadlines. And I wonder... do I have passion? for anything? or am I simply going through the motions, doing enough to get by, with low expectations and less-than-stellar results?
Sometimes, I feel like I spend a whole lot more time avoiding the flesh than I do pursuing real righteousness. I live like I'm "ok" - doing the right things outwardly, but inwardly my motivation ain't all that. It's not passionate. It doesn't seek love, seek suffering for joy, seek to serve, seek to pursue Christ. My motivation, more often than I care to admit, is just kinda there - it's what I do. "Why are you doing that?" - "It's what I do."