Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Do you really get excited about your church? Do I?
God has me serving in this place, Columbia World Outreach, for a reason and a purpose. But do I have real joy, real passion about going to church, serving at church, worshiping together? Being real honest - no.
Confession time: I usually dread Sunday mornings. I really really love Saturday's because we try really hard to keep the calender clear, to sleep in a little and relax a lot, to spend time together as a family. But Sunday mornings are like Mondays, because we've got to get up at about the same time as we do during the work week, and there's more to do because I've got to get to the copier early, get the laptop ready for music, get prepared for the adult bible study. My wife feels rushed and put upon because I blitz through the house and run out the door, leaving her with the kids and breakfast and still getting there on time, too. It's a hassle that's worth it, but a hassle nonetheless. It's no longer an adventure - it's a job.
Three options come to mind: (1) keep doing it this way and hope it gets better; (2) stop going to CWO - either find another church or stop altogether; or (3) re-focus on God in such a way that His joy is our strength. We've been doing (1) long enough, and (2) is just not an option if we're going to be obedient at this point in time. Besides, option (2) doesn't solve the problem, which is probably closer to what (3) is about - and moving on without being more joyful in Christ alone means that we drag this same problem to another congregation.
This thought, of course, runs headlong into the post from yesterday, that I'm to boast only in the cross, seek my joy only in following Christ. At church, I do what I have to do, and by the time I leave I feel good for having attended and participated - but where's the joy?