Monday, March 22, 2004
I'm finding out that life is for the living. But you probably already knew that.
I've been having a thought-process lately that's been overwhelming, challenging and intriguing: that I need to be more intentional in the way I live life. Many times, I find myself reacting to what's going on. When I'm "proactive", it's really just to get things out of the way so they won't bother me later - like fixing the kids' lunches the night before, or doing the dishes because I can't fit another glass in the sink. But I find that I'm just existing, not really living. The normal cycle - stop me if I'm wrong - goes something like this:
- wake up around 6am
- shower and dress
- fix kids' breakfast, then lunches while they're eating
- drive them to school, then do my commute to work
- work 'til lunch, grab a bite, then work 'til 5:15
- evening commute
- dinner/dishes/kids' baths/bedtime
- flip channels, watch news, go to bed by 11:30pm
- lather, rinse, repeat
I could do a people study, looking at how this plays out in just about everyone I know. But I've got to focus on me for this to be real. I want to be more intentional, more playful, more risky in taking life seriously and living it effectively. That's what resonates within my heart right now - as I sit on my fanny in front of this laptop, hyping up my day that'll be spent right here getting work done. There's not much to my life - but instead of that being an excuse to just exist, I need to allow it to be a wake-up call for attempting more, for engaging better, for living right. Right?
I added the unkymoods icon to my blog as a reminder: Let it be honest, and let it be a challenge, living up to the "mood" and attitude that I want really defining my life. So as I sit here and work for "da man", I really want to be "spunky" (mood for today) and be a person who's getting stuff done and enjoying it while it's being done. I want to learn, what Oswald Chamber's calls in today's devotional, "the secret of the burning heart".
Later, a nap.