Wednesday, June 09, 2004
It's beautiful here. Overcast, rainy & damp, slight breeze - not sunny at all, but not hot and muggy either. This would be the perfect day to sit at home in the playroom, kick back in my humungoid recliner, open a few of the windows to catch that breeze, and read the afternoon away. But I can't, since my workplace likes to have me work in return for my bi-weekly paycheck.
I've had a few things on my mind lately: relationships, repentance, politics, church culture, my own growth and maturity or lack thereof. Sometimes I wonder why I think the way I do, why I dwell on things that no one else considers important. I talk with my wife, and I'm trying to encourage her to think deeply about things, to consider other possibilities of life and stuff. But I don't know if I want her to necessarily "think like me". There's areas where I'm sure I'm probably wrong, and many areas where I'm not completely confident of my own mental processes, and I don't know if I want to pass that stuff on entirely. I guess I want to build into people the ability to think for yourself, the enjoyment of thinking for yourself, but without any baggage I might still be bringing to the table.
I don't feel "down"; not really depressed, just burdened and heavy for some of the people in my life, some of their decisions, some of their unseen needs. And I don't want to stand in judgment over anyone, especially since I have so many logs of my own to deal with. So I'm just feeling kind of heavy, trying to be smart about confrontation, and praying & loving so that anything I say will be honest and encouraging instead of my usual sarcastic/cynical approach to life, the universe and everything.
Pray for me. Pray with me. And enjoy the day.